What is wrong with Delhi women?

A few days ago, my friend broke up with his ‘Delhi’ girl. He was really depressed because he had just lost a Delhi girl and Delhi girls are supposed to be the hottest, right? He kept on saying that how there was never going to be another girl like her, etc, etc.  I asked her if he was in love with her, he said “ No, but she was  so hot.”

It got me thinking of the Delhi girls I had dated back in my college years. They are one unique breed I must say. I tried recalling their faces.  But I could not. A very faint picture of them arose in my mind and I swear they all looked so similar that they could morph into each other. If Leela had replaced Sheela in my bed, I swear with all honesty, I would not have suspected a thing and fucked away like nothing was wrong. And no, it is not because I am an asshole and I do not see how every woman is precious and unique, it is because they all do really look the same. It got me thinking if it was me who was dating the same type of girls again and again or did the girls in Delhi did resemble each other a lot?

Next time when I met my inconsolable friend with his 101 ways of how his ‘Delhi’ girl was irreplaceable, I asked him to show me a picture of her.  And boy! Was she a ‘hot Delhi girl’! If I had not met her personally, talked to her and know very surely that I had not dated her, going by her looks; I swear she could have replaced my ‘Delhi’ girls easily.  She had the standard design that every hot girl in Delhi has. The same pale complexion made paler with visible streaks of makeup, hook nose which could easily be used as a peg to hang clothes, eyes lined with kohl, dark really dark which when in the sweaty hot weather of Delhi bleeds and gives the impression that someone had punched her and given her two black eyes and pin straight hair which looked like the tail of a horse. I have had my hands bruised by the razor sharpness of pin straight hair many times when I romantically moved my fingers on a woman’s neck. They are so sharp that they can be used for fencing.

I looked at my friend disgusted that he was crying over a girl who was so ‘’ even when he was not in love with her.  He cried those bucket loads of tears all for nothing when he could replace his hot Delhi girl with another hot Delhi girl in the same model and fuck away blissfully. Women in Delhi are being mass produced by salons. These women are like cars and these parlours like their manufacturers. You lose one car in an accident; you go buy another one with the same specifications, hook nose, kohl, and straightened hair. It is as easy as that. How else do you explain the same model of hotness that almost every ‘hot’ Delhi woman sports? It is like every time a woman goes for the same model or specification, she gets a hotness certificate which reads “Aap hot hain” ( Uncle Sam style). And this certificate comes with many valuable guarantees and advantages that my friend was not aware of. The certificate is just not of value to women but to men too. While it hikes a woman’s dating value a great deal when she has the standard specifications and the hotness certificate to flaunt, it also comes with the guarantee of easy replacibility for men.  And Delhi women are to be blamed if you are slowly seeing such ‘hot’ women in the standard model at a store near you.

Delhi hot

So next time you lose a Delhi women hot in all her hook nosed, pale skin , raccoon eyes and horse tail glory, you can always replace her with a similar model. The more common a car’s model, the easier it is replaced. There are plenty being produced everyday to console men who have just lost one like my friend.

And here is a pearl of Yeti wisdom for men like my friend who are crying over a woman they only loved fucking:  It is better to have fucked and lost than never fucked at all!

Disclaimer:  The names in the article have been changed for anonymity purposes. And the author does not bear any responsibilities for any resemblance that this piece may have with the life of any Delhi woman, living or dead. If this article hurts any Delhi woman by its attack on their beloved standard model of hotness or their self esteem suffers in the process, the author does not give a fuck and they might all go to hell.  

The Rise of the Machines

Homo Sapiens have this great distinction of experiencing a variety of emotions. And love/lust is not complete without a hint of possessiveness and jealousy.  The girl you love or loved and are sleeping  or slept with, the moment you know another guy is shagging her, you get all territorial and jealous. You have this  eye to eye conversation where the other guy looks at you with a smirk that screams, “ I am fucking her like an animal… she likes it… moans and groans for me.” No matter how much you try to ignore this look, it is there when your eyes meet with this new guy. And nothing wrong I say, a very natural emotion. You know what is not natural? Not feeling it.

Yesterday I saw a friend of mine,a good fellow otherwise, with his so called ex girlfriend.  A few days ago, his girl screwed him royally when she decided in a drunken stupor to forget she had a boyfriend and offered herself to one of his friends. No, it was not me unfortunately :( . 'The friend' fucked her for a week or so like he was on a sexual iron man contest and dumped her. She seemed to like it so much that she decided to forget her boyfriend for a 'while'. So, like any man with rudimentary self respect, my friend decided to break up with her. But then keeping with her womanly fickle nature, his ex decided she wanted him back. Yes she screwed up! Mistakes were made! She said that Clinton style.So what? He accepted her back justifying her masculinity and his feminity.

Any man with some masculinity would have never taken her back and punched the hell out of that friend who snatched the pussy lying in a friend’s bed. Nothing ever justifies such a kick in the balls. And pussy or not, masculinity and self respect have to be saved from the vagaries of such sluts. But it seems I was wrong in construing his previous act of break up as a mark of self respect  because  he is so caught up being a pussy himself, he has forgotten the emotions that having being  born with a dick might bring. The feeling of jealousy and possessiveness.  He being a Robo Sapien not only took his girl back but  also that traitor 'friend' (lucky guy, wish we all had such forgiving friends). Now they all sit together and chat like nothing ever happened. In fact, they were discussing the other day as to who had performed better, who got a bigger dick and deciding the order in which they will take turns to fuck her from now on, I am kidding, right, but who knows  what the terminators are up to.
While I will warn you from ever getting serious with such specimens, they come with many advantages and you can exploit them to the fullest and as a matter of fact, you should. If you are looking for serious exclusive stuff or happily ever after, you are bound to get hurt. Run as fast as you could then. Or else, take my advice, change your agenda and wait around to make full use of the opportunity. Now, now do not feel all guilty about it (you can be ashamed for not doing so but not otherwise), they are being called Robo Sapiens for a reason. They are emotionless and operate solely on appetite and convenience. So you can do the same with them. Fuck and run for the door. And  this advice goes out to both men and slutty women.  Making it all a race for who gets their foot out of the door faster and run like Bolt. Such people are a landmine of  opportunities. Fuck them, their sister, mother, wife, boyfriend or dog, they will always understand that you had needs. And the best part is that it is quite safe because you seldom see them running around with knives...