The Rise of the Machines

Homo Sapiens have this great distinction of experiencing a variety of emotions. And love/lust is not complete without a hint of possessiveness and jealousy.  The girl you love or loved and are sleeping  or slept with, the moment you know another guy is shagging her, you get all territorial and jealous. You have this  eye to eye conversation where the other guy looks at you with a smirk that screams, “ I am fucking her like an animal… she likes it… moans and groans for me.” No matter how much you try to ignore this look, it is there when your eyes meet with this new guy. And nothing wrong I say, a very natural emotion. You know what is not natural? Not feeling it.

Yesterday I saw a friend of mine,a good fellow otherwise, with his so called ex girlfriend.  A few days ago, his girl screwed him royally when she decided in a drunken stupor to forget she had a boyfriend and offered herself to one of his friends. No, it was not me unfortunately :( . 'The friend' fucked her for a week or so like he was on a sexual iron man contest and dumped her. She seemed to like it so much that she decided to forget her boyfriend for a 'while'. So, like any man with rudimentary self respect, my friend decided to break up with her. But then keeping with her womanly fickle nature, his ex decided she wanted him back. Yes she screwed up! Mistakes were made! She said that Clinton style.So what? He accepted her back justifying her masculinity and his feminity.

Any man with some masculinity would have never taken her back and punched the hell out of that friend who snatched the pussy lying in a friend’s bed. Nothing ever justifies such a kick in the balls. And pussy or not, masculinity and self respect have to be saved from the vagaries of such sluts. But it seems I was wrong in construing his previous act of break up as a mark of self respect  because  he is so caught up being a pussy himself, he has forgotten the emotions that having being  born with a dick might bring. The feeling of jealousy and possessiveness.  He being a Robo Sapien not only took his girl back but  also that traitor 'friend' (lucky guy, wish we all had such forgiving friends). Now they all sit together and chat like nothing ever happened. In fact, they were discussing the other day as to who had performed better, who got a bigger dick and deciding the order in which they will take turns to fuck her from now on, I am kidding, right, but who knows  what the terminators are up to.
While I will warn you from ever getting serious with such specimens, they come with many advantages and you can exploit them to the fullest and as a matter of fact, you should. If you are looking for serious exclusive stuff or happily ever after, you are bound to get hurt. Run as fast as you could then. Or else, take my advice, change your agenda and wait around to make full use of the opportunity. Now, now do not feel all guilty about it (you can be ashamed for not doing so but not otherwise), they are being called Robo Sapiens for a reason. They are emotionless and operate solely on appetite and convenience. So you can do the same with them. Fuck and run for the door. And  this advice goes out to both men and slutty women.  Making it all a race for who gets their foot out of the door faster and run like Bolt. Such people are a landmine of  opportunities. Fuck them, their sister, mother, wife, boyfriend or dog, they will always understand that you had needs. And the best part is that it is quite safe because you seldom see them running around with knives...

The Sex and the City Side Effect: 30 something Sluts

One day, my girlfriend was watching Sex and the City. She was completely engrossed in it and she connected to the characters and their lives somehow. All of us have heard of this sitcom but a few , may be, who are living under a rock may not have a clue about it. I did not. I knew the name (add sex to the name and it is unforgettable) but had never seen the show. I decided to sit down with my girlfriend and see what the hullabaloo was all about. What was this freaking show all about that women went crazy for it? what was this freaking show all about that women take relationship advice and inspiration from it?

Well, it is about four 30 something single women who consider each other soul mates and men as nothing but a dildo to please them. They are trying desperately to hang on to their youths which expired a decade ago. They dress slutty and flaunt their sagging boobs and wrinkly knees. They party everyday and are promiscuous as hell. The least attractive of them all, the lawyer Miranda, has slept with 42 men and that is a tentative list. And the most promiscuous of them all, Samantha, has had every dick in New York in her and I am pretty sure is a walking case of every known STD to man. Then there is this third one, Charlotte, who acts as a precious snowflake and oh so innocent but is a slut nonetheless. Do not be fooled by her holier than thou demeanour. Once a painter only had to tell her she was beautiful and she let him paint her vagina and display it to the world. Real precious, I say! And then there is the protagonist, Carrie Bradshaw, who makes a living as a journalist exploiting stories of her friends’ sex escapades and is confused why Mr. Big does not want to marry her. I mean what is wrong with her? she is only 35 and looks like a horse? She has slept with god knows how many men? She is a slut and writes all about it in a newspapers column? I wonder what’s wrong!

Let me tell you my friends, this one little funny enjoyable harmless looking show has been one of the most harmful things to happen to women of our generation. You do not believe me? Then ask the women what Carrie Bradshaw means to them? She is an inspiration for women with her oh so glamorous and perfect seeming life. She proves to women that you do not have to be hitched at a young age to be happy. You do not need one man to be happy when you can have so many. She proves to them that every day you can go happily to sleep with a new man. And 30 years old? What has it got to do with your dating value? 30 is the new 20, etc, etc. Have fun, have sex because when you are forty years old, there will be a great man , your Prince Charming waiting at the other end with his limo and a rock.

 Zoom in on those real women who having taken inspiration from Carrie Bradshaw and group  are heading into the same direction. They are hitting the wall and have been with innumerable men. They suddenly realize that their biological clock is ticking and want to settle down. Despite all their education and empowerment, women have not learned much. And as a dog reverts to its natural instincts despite all the training, so do women when it comes to choosing a life partner. They want someone who is as educated or more educated, earning as much or more. In short, they want a Mr. Big.  But Mr. Big does not want them. They are so confused because they did everything they thought men loved in a woman. They did everything right. So where did they go wrong? I will tell you where you went wrong. Because you, nimwits, herd animals with your impressive degrees and high paying jobs could not figure one simple thing out. That Carrie Bradshaw is a utopia that does not exist in real world. You are 30 and doing everything expected of you by the media of a successful sexy woman and yet your life is a hot mess.

Because real life is, well, real. You, women cannot sleep like men and expect a pot of gold to wait for you at the other side of the rainbow. It is the ugly truth. But who said truth is always a happy pill?  You are 30+, you have already had a steep fall down the dating ladder. And what do I hear? You are a feminist who believes men and women are equal in all respects including fucking, you are further pushed down the ladder. No man wants you. No quality man wants you. You are a 35 year old slut; your Prince Charming does not want you because he has younger and chaster options. Sadly, no matter what a whore a man is and how old he is, he can always get a younger woman who has not opened her legs to every man who wanted a tour.

Men are ,by nature ,territorial animals. Years of feminism has tried hard to brainwash men out of this concept of territoriality but somehow it stays, you know. A man of 40 who has been with a thousand women can still find a loyal partner. But a woman who has been with many men and is beyond 30, you are in for great disappointment. No Carrie Bradshaw moments with your promiscuity and slutty clothes will help you fool a man to commit. Sexual consent is your privilege while commitment is men’s. Take my advice if you want to be happy. Those ugly fat old feminists with their sorry lives only want you to join their ranks with nothing more than a dildo to stuff your vagina when your skin is leathery and old. Take my advice and marry young. As you reach your 20s find yourself a good man who is fool enough to give up his freedom to bear your tantrums for the rest of his life and marry him.  Be loyal to him, to that decent man. One day please do not go eat, pray, love on him.  And If you are not married or in a serious relationship by 26, you have all the reasons to be worried sick.